Baby Wont Sleep Without Bouncing? Try this!
So, you’ve got a baby who has to be rocked, bounced, or walked to sleep and it’s feeling unsustainable for you? Let’s dive in to a holistic approach to change sleep associations.
Hold up. What are sleep associations? Sleep associations are the sensory input an individual connect with falling asleep. Babies and toddlers often need a caregiver to provide sleep associations to be able to fall asleep. Babies who need a caregiver to rock, feed, or snuggle them to sleep are often NORMAL and HEALTHY. Some sleep experts refer to these as “sleep crutches” or “negative sleep associations” advocating for the need to self soothe. The truth is that babies and toddlers don’t have the brain structures in place to self soothe. All children will fall asleep independently when they are developmentally ready to do so - which will be on their own timeline.
Before embarking on any changes to your baby’s sleep routine, I encourage you to ask yourself one essential question: WHY? Why does my baby rely on this level of sensory input to fall asleep?
For some babies, the need for soothing movement is rooted in sensory seeking behavior. These little ones thrive on additional sensory input to regulate their nervous systems and find comfort. If you have a sensory seeker you may need to add in sensory input during wake windows to find success in moving away from motion to sleep.
However, not all cases of reliance on motion for sleep are as straightforward. It's essential to be aware of potential red flags that may indicate an underlying health condition. Signs such as mouth breathing, snoring, hourly waking, and back arching can be indicators of a more significant issue. Rather than attempting to address these concerns independently, it's highly advisable to consult with a pediatrician before implementing any changes to your baby's sleep routine.
Once any underlying health conditions are addressed, you’re ready to get started moving away from bouncing to sleep! Check out the process I recently supported a client with. The family booked the Wild Child Sleep Package, so they had my support for a full three weeks!
The Steps:
Add a new sleep association. This family chose to replace bouncing with singing, so they spent a few days both bouncing and singing to allow baby time to associate singing with falling asleep.
Slow the bouncing. The caregiver slowed their bouncing down while continuing to sing. They did this for a few days to allow baby to adjust.
Sit down. The caregiver sat down while singing to their baby. Again, this step lasted a few days to allow baby time to adjust.
Lay down. The caregiver snuggled up next to baby on their floor bed while singing baby to sleep.
Ninja roll away. This step is always optional! But the ability to step away while baby was asleep was a goal this for this family.
A note about crying.
There is no shortage of misconceptions about infant sleep and behavior. One that I want you to be aware of when it comes to changing sleep associations is this…
Crying is bad.
And I want you to replace it with this: Leaving a baby to cry alone is unhealthy, co-regulating with a crying baby is providing them a chance to learn stress response strategies.
It is likely that your baby will protest this change. You are taking away a comfort, of course they will be upset. The difference between this process and sleep training is the unconditional responsiveness. You are holding space for and supporting your baby’s big feels while you make this change. Be prepared for protest by practicing self regulation strategies like deep breathing or visualization. Then, when your baby expresses those big feelings, use your self regulation strategies to co-regulate!
When it comes to sleep, each baby is unique. If you’ve got a baby who relies on motion to fall asleep and you’re over it, take the time to understand the underlying reason before making a change. Whether your baby is a sensory seeker or has an underlying health condition, approaching the situation with care and seeking support when needed can lead to peaceful naps and nights for the whole family.
