As new parents, we often feel like a good night’s sleep is years away. But what if the very idea of "natural" sleep habits has been skewed by societal expectations? When it comes to nighttime parenting, the answer is not in sleep training, but in understanding our babies' fundamental needs.

Interested in science backed, attachment based sleep practices? Get your free copy of Foundations of Gentle Sleep: a neuroscience and attachment based guide. Click the button below.

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*Babies of all ages crave physical connection with caregivers.*

The Science of Connection: Why Babies Crave Contact

Newborns are born wired for connection. They've spent the past nine months nestled in the warm, responsive environment of the womb. Stepping into the world is a big adjustment, and they rely heavily on their caregivers for comfort and security. Leaving them to cry alone creates a state of dysregulation, where they become overwhelmed and unable to soothe themselves.

For the first three months, babies expect a womb-like experience. This translates to a constant sense of closeness and responsiveness from their caregiver. Even during sleep, they draw comfort from touch, sound, and the familiar presence of a loved one. It's not about spoiling them – it's about meeting their biological need for connection.

The Shift: Why Nighttime Parenting Feels Unnatural

So, if responding to our babies at night is natural, why does it often feel like such a struggle? The answer lies in a cultural shift. Western society often portrays soothing a fussy baby at night as creating "bad sleep habits." This narrative can lead parents to feel guilty or judged for wanting to comfort their child.

The reality is, babies haven't fundamentally changed. Their biology remains the same – it's our expectations that have shifted. The rise of the sleep training industry further reinforces this idea, promising quick fixes and uninterrupted sleep for parents. But these methods often overlook the emotional needs of our little ones.

*Ensure a safe sleep space for your baby by follow the AAP’s safe sleep guidelines and/or Dr. James McKenna’s safe bedsharing guidelines.*

Beyond Sleep Training: Building Secure Attachment

Imagine learning a new skill by being left alone to figure it out. It wouldn't be very effective, would it? The same goes for babies. They learn best through observation and shared experiences. When a baby cries and is left to cry it out, they might not be learning to fall asleep independently. They might simply be learning to shut down to conserve energy.

This approach can have long-term consequences. A baby's brain is wired based on the caregiving it receives. Responsive care lays the foundation for secure attachment, fostering a sense of trust and emotional well-being. By responding to their cries, we teach them that the world is a safe place, filled with love and support.

Ready for sleep support that actually encourages attachment and parental instincts? Click the link below for your free guide Foundations of Gentle Sleep: a neuroscience and attachment based approach.

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Heart-Centered Caregiving: Finding Your Rhythm

At Wild Child Sleep, we believe in heart-centered caregiving – an approach that prioritizes your baby's emotional needs while providing support for parents. We understand that "natural" doesn't always feel instinctive. There's no one-size-fits-all solution, and what works for one family might not work for another.

That's why we offer a variety of tools and resources to help you navigate the journey of nighttime parenting. We can help you find ways to respond to your baby's cues in a way that feels right for you, building a foundation of connection and fostering a healthy sleep environment for your entire family.

Remember, you're not alone. Trust your instincts, embrace the cuddles, and know that responding to your baby's needs is the most natural and loving choice you can make.

Are you ready for heart led, science backed sleep support? Book in now!

References

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Gunnar MR. Social Buffering of Stress in Development: A Career Perspective. Perspect Psychol Sci. 2017 May;12(3):355-373. doi: 10.1177/1745691616680612. PMID: 28544861; PMCID: PMC5445937.

Ionio C, Ciuffo G, Landoni M. Parent-Infant Skin-to-Skin Contact and Stress Regulation: A Systematic Review of the Literature. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Apr 28;18(9):4695. doi: 10.3390/ijerph18094695. PMID: 33924970; PMCID: PMC8124223.

Leong V, Byrne E, Clackson K, Georgieva S, Lam S, Wass S. Speaker gaze increases information coupling between infant and adult brains. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2017 Dec 12;114(50):13290-13295. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1702493114. Epub 2017 Nov 28. PMID: 29183980; PMCID: PMC5740679.

Sullivan R, Perry R, Sloan A, Kleinhaus K, Burtchen N. Infant bonding and attachment to the caregiver: insights from basic and clinical science. Clin Perinatol. 2011 Dec;38(4):643-55. doi: 10.1016/j.clp.2011.08.011. Epub 2011 Oct 19. PMID: 22107895; PMCID: PMC3223373.