If you read my most recent post, you know that when I brought my daughter home from the hospital at two days old I was woefully unprepared for the realities of new motherhood.

My daughter didn’t sleep anywhere but our arms for the first two months, hated the swaddle, and cluster fed what felt like constantly. I knew nothing about safe bedsharing and still thought it was taboo (it’s a life saver!). I thought I must be doing something wrong with the swaddle, babies are supposed to love the swaddle, right??? And I couldn’t get more than 45 minutes of sleep for weeks because that’s how often she woke when I wasn’t holding her.

Photo from our DIY “newborn” photoshoot… which we didn’t get around to doing until my daughter was around two weeks old.

As a seasoned mom, birthworker, and educator I now know that those first weeks would have been much easier had I leaned in to what is completely normal for babies all around the world.

Babies are ancient beings and humans are a carry species. Newborns are designed to be close with their mother or other caregivers. Their bodies literally become dysregulated when they aren’t in physical contact with a caregiver. Just like other carry mammals, such as chimps, human milk is quickly digested. That means that babies need to be kept close to the birthing person to receive milk frequently.

For parents of newborns, that means being “on” pretty much 24/7 (unless, of course, you have incredibly support friends, family, or a postpartum doula)! After two years of motherhood plus experience and education as a postpartum doula, I now know plenty of “tricks” to make those first days more restful for parents.

Instead of registering for all the latest baby items on your registary, consider the services I talked about in my last post plus the following:

Two safe sleep options - one for room sharing and one for bedsharing.
1. Room sharing options can include a bassinet, crib, sidecar crib, floor bed, or even a crib mattress in a safe location on the floor.
2. Bedsharing isn’t for everyone, I get it, however, even if you do not plan to bedshare check out La Leche League’s safe sleep seven and set up a safe bedsharing space. There might come a time when you are exhausted and laying down next to your baby is the only way for you to rest. Trust me. I’ve been there. Exhausted on the couch while my partner took her turn sleeping which resulted in putting my baby in an unsafe sleep setup. Had I known about safe sleep options and set up a safe place, I could have kept her out of any potentially dangerous situations. *She was unharmed and I now know better!
A waterproof pad under the fitted sheet on your bed.
1. The fourth trimester is messy. Breast milk can leak while you sleep, lochia (after birth bleeding and discharge) can last four to six weeks, and newborns are known for frequent spit up and diaper mishaps. Put the waterproof pad under the fitted sheet on your bed, then when spills, leaks, and explosions happen you aren’t left laying on a wet and smelly mattress for the next 24 hours.
A baby wrap or carrier that you’ve taken out of the box and practiced with.
1. Exhaustion and attempting to figure out how to safely use a ring sling or baby wrap do not mix. Before baby comes, take that baby carrier out of the box and practice. Learn what to look for when it comes to newborn safety - each product will have it’s own safety and wearing instructions so make sure you read the manual for the specific product you have. If you need help before or after baby arrives, reach out to a doula, like me!, who can help you safely babywear.

Humans are carry mammals. Newborns need to be in contact with their caregivers as much as possible. If you’re wondering what you can do to prepare for baby without going down a consumerism rabbit hole, this is it:

Prepare to safely have your baby in physical contact with you or another caregiver 24/7.

Have your baby with you while you are awake by babywearing, feeding, or skin to skin cuddling. Have your baby with you while you sleep by room or bedsharing. Give another caregiver like your partner or a postpartum doula shirt or burp cloth that smells like you while you take a break.

Looking for birth or postpartum doula support in Tacoma, Puyallup, Eatonville, or surrounding areas in the Puget Sound? Fill out my contact form and I’ll reach out to you to find out if we are a good fit!