The Baby Shower List I Wish I Had

May 17

Many new parents spend hours planning for birth. Which is amazing - birth is the entry into a truly transformational stage of life. It's incredibly important.

Unfortunately, many new parents don't spend enough time planning for postpartum. Okay, it’s me. I’m talking about me. I had no idea what I actually needed to ask for at my baby shower or prepare for other than giving birth. I asked for all the latest, safest, most adorable items that popular site recommended and felt prepared.

When I brought my baby home I found out that she truly did not care that the bassinet we bought was the highest rated on The Bump or that the swaddle she wrapped up in had the most adorable woodland theme. Honestly, she rarely, if ever, slept in the bassinet and loathed being swaddled.

That first day home from the hospital I felt completely lost. My baby didn’t want all of the fancy stuff we got for her. She just wanted… me.

Perfect! Motherhood is intuitive… right??

…… right???

Well, yes and no. Motherhood is a chance to relearn how to follow your intuition with massive amounts of support from your village.

Two years of motherhood and experience as a postpartum doula have taught me what new parents actually need in the fourth trimester.

Here it is:

Support. A village. To be mothered.

Babies in the fourth trimester need one thing: their parents. Not smart bassinets, the most expensive lounger, or even swaddles.

Physical, optional, and educational support is essential to those caregiver's mental health. Caring for a newborn is no joke. Neither is planning for a successful postpartum experience.

Here is what experience in birthwork has taught me new parents need most in the first days and weeks after birth:

Lactation Consultant or International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) scheduled for a home visit the week or so after birth. Whether you plan to breastfeed or formula feed you will appreciate knowing that help is coming soon. Even experienced breastfeeding moms need support with feeding a newborn. Every baby and body is different and will pose unique challenges.
Postpartum Doula scheduled for in home care. Doulas are experts in newborn care, post vaginal or cesarean birth healing, mothering new parents, and more. Postpartum doulas can come either during the day or night so you’ll want to consider which option is best for your family and find a doula that fits your needs. Night shifts often include the majority of baby care done by the doula while the rest of the family sleeps, the doula can bring the baby to the mother for feeds if desired. Day shifts often include mental health check ins, meal prep, education, light housework, and more.
Click here to find out how I can support your postpartum experience in the Puget Sound Area!
Meal or food delivery from friends and family or a delivery service. Be sure to ask for nutritious foods! You just birthed a baby and you have a dinner plate sized wound in your womb… you need healing foods and foods you can eat with one hand. Think breakfast burritos, lettuce wraps, bone broth, fresh fruits and veggies.

Rather than filling my baby shower registry with items my baby won’t care about, next time around I plan to have these three options for family and friends to contribute to. Want to know which physical items I would purchase? Check out my next blog post coming soon for my newborn must-haves!