Sleep PROgression or REgression?

May 8

I use the term sleep progression instead of regression. At four months, nine to twelve months, sixteen months, and twenty four months babies brains go through incredible development. They wake up to the world, they learn that caregivers can come and go, their motor and language skills skyrocket, and so much more.

Nothing about these leaps in development is a regression.

Yet, that's what they're often referred to as. Instead of focusing on the incredible learning, caregivers are taught to focus on the fact that all of this excitement means that sleep is a disaster. The result is often that parents experience heightened stress and search endlessly for any answer that will get them through this stage ASAP.

Now, I'm not saying that sleep progressions aren't stressful. Of course they are! But can't we experience both stress and joy at the same time? Can’t we celebrate the baby steps it takes to get from tummy time to pushing up onto all fours then ask for help making dinner? Or the hours spent cruising furniture while also being completely exhausted?
This is where it all comes down to mindset. If we view these times of incredible learning as something to be feared or highly stressful, that is exactly how we will feel. Add in a little exhaustion and increased night waking… and you’ve got a hot mess.
But, if we take a step back and remind ourselves what a big freakin deal it is that this brand new tiny human is learning to do something for the first time ever… then it might just become a magical time. Yes, a magical time that includes exhaustion, learning to ask for help, and experiencing the biggest transformation of your life (another post for another day).

Here are a few helpful tips if you find you are highly stressed during a sleep progression:

Head outdoors for a reset for both you and baby. A little fresh air and change of scenery often does the trick.
Cover up or put away the clock in your bedroom. If you’re not tracking the amount or number of night wakes you might stress less about it. (Seriously, it works).
Provide plenty of opportunities, more than you might think, for baby to practice new skills during wake windows.
Ask for and accept help. Asking for help is a major step… but then you have to actually give yourself a break and let that person do what you’ve asked. For some of us overachievers, this is a brand new experience.
Hire help if you have the funds or reach out to a local doula or community member. If you can’t afford to pay for support some doulas are willing to barter, work on a sliding scale, or even work pro bono. You deserve support even if you can’t pay full price.