How Can I Get My Newborn Sleeping Longer stretches?

When I work with families of newborns one of the most common questions I get is “How can I get them to sleep for longer stretches of time?!” And girl, I get it. It’s exhausting to wake up every 45 minutes to 3 three hours for weeks on end.

Many expectant parents that I work with receive similar information in the prenatal period. They’re told…

"You'll have to wake your baby every 2-3 hours to feed them."
"Babies sleep a ton!" (True, but not always conducive to your sleep.)
"All babies love being swaddled." (A common misconception.)

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Realistic Newborn Sleep: Understanding the Science

To truly understand newborn sleep, we need to look at the science of human milk. Unlike some mammals with high-fat, slow-digesting milk, human milk is lower in fat and higher in water, designed for frequent feedings. This is rooted in our evolutionary history as a "carry" species.

To truly understand newborn sleep, we need to look at the science of human milk. Mother’s milk is species specific, and each species of mammal milk is designed for the unique behavioral needs of the species. Mammals with a high fat/low water content of milk can feed less frequently because the milk is digested slowly. Mammals, such as humans, with a low fat/high water content need to feed more frequently because their milk is quickly digested. This is rooted in our evolutionary history as a "carry" species.

Anthropologists have used this information combined with behavioral information to describe two different care patterns linked to type of milk:

Nesting species: these species have high fat/low water content of milk. They must leave their young for hours while they go out and hunt, eat, etc. Species include cats, dogs, deer, and rabbits.
Carry, follow, hibernate: these species have a low fat/high water content of milk. They either carry their young wherever they go or their young are able to walk and therefore follow their mothers. This includes monkeys, opposums, giraffes, horses, and bison. Bears and groundhogs even hibernate with their young who are able to nurse during that time. Humans fall into this category.

Humans are a carry species. They are biologically designed to be with or near their caregivers 24 hours a day. Newborns and the milk they consume are designed to feed frequently. Keeping newborns close, like in a carrier or bedside bassinet, encourages parents to learn their baby’s hunger cues and feed frequently.

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Recognizing Early Feeding Cues

Newborns don’t need to be fully awake to give feeding cues! Watch out for these early feeding cues:

Light sleep, eye lids may begin to flutter
Clenched fists
Opening mouth
Hands to mouth or sucking fingers

Newborns need to feed at a minimum 8-10 times per day. This is where the advice to feed your baby every 2-3 hours comes from. Twenty four hours a day divided by eight feeds equals feed every three hours. While this sounds like a great way to schedule your baby’s day and ensure they are getting the right amount of milk, it’s often not so neat and tidy. Most babies don’t feed on a nice every three hour schedule. Sometimes baby may be hungry just 45 minutes after a feed, while other times baby may not be hungry again for 3 hours. Feeding “on demand” rather than on a schedule is often a better way to ensure your baby is getting the milk they need to thrive.

According to The National Sleep Foundation’s sleep time duration recommendations, newborns sleep between 14-17 total hours within a 24 hour period. There is no research to indicate how long each nap should be. However, we do know that newborns' small stomachs combined with the quickly digested human milk mean that newborns need to feed often to ensure that they are receiving enough milk for adequate growth.

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Newborn Nap Realities

Enough about feeding… let’s get back to why you’re really here. Newborn sleep.

Newborn nap routines are wild. Since they don’t know the difference between day and night yet and they need to wake so much to feed, they really don’t have “nighttime sleep” and “daytime naps”. They just nap. Day or night.

Newborn babies might nap between 3-8 times in a 24 hour period, and those naps might be anywhere from 10 minutes to 4 hours in length. To make it even more fun, their wake windows are usually around 30-60 minutes long… and most of that time is spent on feeding and diaper changes.

Flexibility is key when it comes to surviving newborn sleep since these naps tend to be inconsistent and unscheduled. You aren’t doing anything wrong if it feels messy. Infant sleep is messy and can feel like a bit of a roller coaster. If this resonates with you, then I want you to know that even if it feels hard AF right now, you’re an amazing parent who is giving your baby exactly what they need.

How to Get More Sleep With a Newborn

When I work with newborn families, whether in their home as a postpartum doula, infant sleep specialist, or supporting their lactation journey, I always encourage families to think outside of the box when it comes to getting more sleep. A newborn sleeping more than a few hours in a stretch may not be safe, but there’s often a way for caregivers to get more sleep.

Here are a few of favorite ways caregivers get more rest, even with a newborn in the house:

Take the night in shifts. One caregiver stays up or responds for the first half of the night while the other sleeps, then you switch! This may mean that the mother needs to pump and the caregivers need to practice giving the baby a bottle.
Safely bedshare. Setup a sleep surface that is safe for a breastfeeding mother and newborn to sleep together on. The mother wont even need to get up to feed the baby and both can drift back to sleep when the feed is done. More info about safe bedsharing.
Hire a postpartum doula. Postpartum doulas are baby whisperers. They can support you day or night and will follow your feeding wishes. If you opt for nighttime support, you can either have them bring the baby to you when they’re hungry or give a bottle. If you choose daytime support, you can still use their time in your home to rest up!
Book a Sleep Q&A. Learn even more about normal infant sleep and get all of your burning questions answered.

In short, newborn sleep is driven by biology, not schedules. Focus on frequent feedings, recognizing cues, and flexible routines. Prioritize your own rest through shifts or support. This phase is temporary; understanding and adapting is key.