If there’s one thing you need to know about babies and night waking it’s this: night waking is NORMAL and should be expected. Now that we’ve got the truth out in the open, let’s break it down, because I know this isn’t the story many of you have been told.

It's Okay to Feel Frustrated

If you’ve been following or trying to follow sleep training advice, then you are probably feeling pretty frustrated at this point. If you’re like many of the families I work with then your baby isn’t sleeping on schedule, naps are all over the place, and night waking is wearing you out. On top of that, you’re feeling guilty that your baby isn’t getting the sleep they so desperately need… or so say the sleep trainers.

It’s understandable that you might be feeling frustrated. Because you’ve been set up for failure. Most babies wake at night and don’t sleep on a predictable nap schedule. In fact, those perfectly presented schedules that sleep trainers often share are often based on personal experience and opinion. Your baby doesn’t fit into it because they’re a completely different human being with unique needs.

Want more info about how to handle night waking? Get my free guide Four Mistakes Parents Make with Nighttime Waking… and what to do instead now!

Reframing Night Waking

Research shows that night waking is normal at all ages, even into adulthood. It’s normal for night waking to increase around 4-6 months and 8-12 months.

Babies wake for a variety of reasons. Their sleep cycles are between 40-60 minutes in length and they naturally wake at the end of each cycle.. The end of every sleep cycle they enter a lighter state of sleep, this presents an opportunity to wake. Their brain does a body scan to see if they need anything. If they are hungry, thirsty, lonely, afraid, cold, wet, or gassy, then they will wake and signal a caregiver for help.

Further, for younger babies, waking at night is a built in protection. Newborns are designed to digest milk quickly, meaning they are hungry often and will need to refill frequently. Babies this young need physical connection to help them regulate normal bodily functions such as breathing and temperature. Waking every so often provides caregivers an opportunity to check in and hold them.

Additionally, waking will help keep babies in a lighter state of sleep and therefore they will wake easier. It’s important for babies to be able to rouse themselves and signal a caregiver in the event of an apnea (stopping breathing) or if they were to get stuck.

For nursing parents, feeding throughout the night is an important piece of the milk supply puzzle. Night feedings actually help to increase your milk supply. Milk producing hormones are at their height in the early morning hours, around 4am. This is when breastfeeding parents produce the most milk, so it’s the perfect time to feed your baby! I mean, wouldn’t you be up at 4am, anyways?

Reasons to Celebrate Night Waking:

Night waking is protective against SIDS
Babies need to feed frequently
Nursing on demand protects a feeding parent’s milk supply

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Tips for Handling Night Waking

While babies and toddlers waking throughout the night is the norm, that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Here are my top tips for handling night waking:

Follow your baby’s sleep cues for naps and bedtimes
Keep the lighting dim and stay in the sleep area if your baby wakes
Always respond and offer to soothe your baby back to sleep
Learn to bedshare safely for those extra exhausting nights
Soothe your baby in whatever way is easiest for the whole family
Watch out for sleep red flags, which I'll discuss below

To keep the lighting dim at bedtime and nighttime, I love using our astronaut galaxy projector, Hatch, and amber reading light!

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When to Seek Professional Support

Although waking at night is to be expected, there are times when you may need help. I suggest reaching out to a sleep without sleep training type of sleep specialist in the following circumstances:

The amount of night waking feels unsustainable
Your family is about to make a major change like a parent returning to work or starting childcare
You want to make a change like moving away from rocking, walking, or bouncing to sleep
You want to night wean (or don’t know when it’s the right time to do so)
You notice any sleep red flags such as

mouth breathing
snoring
eczema
restlessness or tossing and turning
mucous or blood in stool

Night waking is a normal part of babyhood, and it's okay if it feels overwhelming at times. Remember, you're not alone. Many parents go through this, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Trust your instincts, prioritize your own well-being, and find what works best for you and your family.

If you're feeling lost or need extra support, don't hesitate to reach out to a sleep consultant who aligns with your parenting philosophy. There are many approaches to sleep, and finding one that respects your family's values and needs is key.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a peaceful and supportive sleep environment for everyone in your household. Remember to be patient with yourself and your baby, and enjoy this precious time.